Someone bring me a lox and cream cheese bagel.

Yesterday I decided I want George Winston's "Living Without You" played at my funeral.

And this morning on the way to work, I pondered how and if dating might be easier as a bird who has to puff out their chest.

The Road to Frequently Feasting on Duck

I've realized lately that my writing skills need some serious work.

I recently interviewed for a job at a well respected PR firm and they actually said they were not impressed with my writing. What a welcomed slap in the face. Not only did I realize I should start exercising those skills a bit more, I also began pondering a serious career change.

I've pretty much had it with sending out more resumes than our national debt. Yes, I know "it's the economy and it's just hard to find a job right now." I'm done crying and eating all kinds of crap as the result of being rejected from interview after interview. The pizza has been tasty, but my ass can and will not get any bigger. 

It's time for serious a change.

A change that will truly assist in beginning to lead a more purposeful life - accumulating more shoes, moving into a space in which my kitchen is also not my bedroom, feasting on duck more often, and hopefully getting one step closer to securing a job.

Now take that, job market!

Popping out of the Hole

I'm not sure what the hell is going on with this blog. I want it to go somewhere, but the more time that passes, I'm unsure of where to begin. 

This blogging funk has been going on for about a year now. I come up with decent ideas for posts, but then I lose my steam. 

Sigh.

I'll Raise My Mug to That

The End of the Legislative Session is truly a one of a kind experience. The sweet smell of greasy pizza fills the air and late night 'sessions' are nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, a myriad of bills are passed and heavy hitting agreements are reached. But let's be honest here, folks. The last day of session is really all about no more suits! For a little while, at least.

But for me, the commencement of this legislative session has meant slightly more than a huge dry cleaning bill. It may be the end of an era for some, but it undoubtedly marks the beginning of a bonafied coffee addiction for others! As the work load, long hours and sleep deprivation have pressed on, so has my dire need for caffeine. I've been a casual coffee drinker in the past, downing the occasional iced coffee and slowly sipping the tractor fuel-esq daily office brew.

But holy HELL has the past week or two resulted in a massive consumption of coffee! I'm deeply appreciative of the baristas at The Daily Grind for not drawing attention to my habitual morning appearances! (Oh, and by the way, once I get my pay check tomorrow you all can count a large tip in the cup tomorrow morning!) I endure enough ridicule in my own office regarding the speedy dissapearance of java, as it is! Part of the problem is that I not only need the caffeine, I relish the taste of coffee.

I'm past the point of caring about spilling and whether or not the beige splotches of coffee yumminess will or will not be erasible with a Tide Pen. These are my war scars, and I will drink on!

Cheers to the end of session, and another cup!

Overheard on Gchat

Conversation #1:

katey12's new status message - muai baby i need you!
me: AHHHH you're going to MAUI?!!!!!!!!! i HATE you
katey12: NOOO it's a lotion


Conversation #2:

Elvis*: We ended up at DiCarlo's
Me: ohhh, nice! good food?
Elvis: It's a gentleman's club.



Conversation #3:

Carrie: Ahhhhh! I would loooooove to get dinner, but I already have plans for tonight. Stupid CC Factory, which I don't even like that well.
Me: hah ha c&c music factory as in the 90s pop band?! LOL that's hilarious! no worries about tonight.
Carrie: LOL No - Cheesecake Factory!


*Elvis=name has been changed.

Quote Buffet

Memorial Day Weekend 2008 has not only been filled with sunshine and the company of good friends, but also a slew of quality quips worth sharing. Below is a list in no particular order of the weekend's best -- left anonymous to protect the guilty, of course.

"I just ate so much sushi, I feel like I might give birth to a tuna."

"Watch out, geese like shiny objects. They're after your accessories."

"That's a hoegarden over there if I ever saw one!"

"If I could use a condiment in sex, it would be horseradish."

"Bring on the meat!"

"I like guys that can help me carry stuff."

"I'm trying to make more of an effort to be less of a high maintenance bitch."

"You're not fat by any means, but you sure do talk about food a lot."

"She has a one track mind. It's always feeding time for her, kind of like a cow, even though she's 5'2."

"His butt chin is the epitome of all butt chins."

"It's like a Disneyworld of Cheese. Let me now draw your attention to the giant cheese ball that eerily resembles Epcot Center."

"Some women like jewelry. I like carbohydrates."

"Just to let you know, this tastes like lighter fluid."

Four paws good, two legs bad!

The paws of Yorkies, Golden Retrievers, Labs, and the occasional dog that resembles a rat* traverse the streets of Albany, with a gait in their step and tongue dangling carefree. Any given weather condition -- rain, sleet, hail, snow, wind, and of course sunshine -- a pooch can almost always be seen making the rounds. I'm partial to the slap happy-faced West Highland Terrier, better known as a 'Westie'. And fortunately, there is no lack of my favorite short-legged friend.

Since I've taken up residence in the Capital District, I have carefully kept track of all the Westies I have met. Go ahead. Call me a dog stalker. When I start hauling in the dough for my dog walking services then we'll see who has the last laugh...or bark.

Below is a handy guide for spotting the Westies of Albany I have met so far. Please note that the corresponding pictures are not the actual dogs...but just bear a striking resemblance.

Ollie - A bit on the scruffy side, and resides on State Street near Pinto and Hobbes. Ollie can frequently be seen sitting on his/her stoop (I still have yet to figure out Ollie's gender) or strolling up and down the street as people head to and from work.

Chester - A bit on the more metrosexual side of male pups, with a well maintained white coat and carefully trimmed facial fur. I believe he currently resides near the corner of Dove and Lancaster. He can also be seen sauntering about the Center Squre neighborhood with his owner.

Basil - On the more mellow side, with an almost grey white fur. Current residence unknown. Has been known to accept bellyrubs mid-Lark Street.

Chelsea - Cooper's cheery faced sister. Frequents Washington Park. 

Cooper - Chelsea's brother who also frequents Washington Park. Has a predilection for squirrels and bunnies, and follows his nose to no avail.

*Evidence will be documented in a later post.